For two years, I genuinely thought I was developing early dementia. I was 43. I would walk into rooms and forget why I was there. I would lose words mid-sentence — words I had used my entire life. I would read the same paragraph three times and retain nothing. I was crying in my car for no reason. I could not sleep. My heart would race at 3am for no apparent cause.
Three different doctors told me I was 'just stressed'. One suggested antidepressants. One ordered a brain MRI (which was normal). Nobody — not once — mentioned perimenopause.
The Symptoms Nobody Connected
Looking back, the signs were everywhere. My periods had become irregular — sometimes 21 days apart, sometimes 45. I was having what I now know were hot flushes, but I thought I was just 'running hot'. My joints ached in the morning. I had developed a sensitivity to alcohol that I never had before — one glass of wine would leave me awake until 4am.
The symptom that frightened me most was the brain fog. I am a writer. Words are my livelihood. When they started disappearing, I was terrified. I started keeping lists of everything. I set alarms for tasks I had done automatically for years. I told my husband I was worried something was seriously wrong with me.
💡 💡 If this sounds familiar: Brain fog, memory lapses, and word-finding difficulties are among the most common — and most distressing — symptoms of perimenopause. They are caused by oestrogen's role in supporting cognitive function, and they are not permanent.
The Moment Everything Changed
The fourth doctor I saw was a female GP who was herself in her late 40s. Within ten minutes of me describing my symptoms, she said: 'Has anyone talked to you about perimenopause?' I had heard the word, vaguely, as something that happened to women in their 50s. I was 43. I did not think it applied to me.
She explained that perimenopause can begin a decade before the final period. That the brain fog, the anxiety, the sleep disruption, the joint pain, the mood swings — all of it was consistent with hormonal fluctuation. She did not dismiss me. She did not tell me to exercise more or reduce stress. She listened, she connected the dots, and she gave me a name for what I was experiencing.
What I Wish I Had Known Earlier
- Perimenopause can start in your early 40s — or even late 30s
- You do not need to have hot flushes to be in perimenopause
- Brain fog and anxiety are hormonal symptoms, not signs of mental illness
- Irregular periods are often the first sign — but not always
- You deserve to be taken seriously. If one doctor dismisses you, see another.
Where I Am Now
Two years after that appointment, I am on hormone therapy and feel like myself again. The brain fog has lifted. I sleep through the night. The anxiety that had become my constant companion has largely gone. I am not saying hormone therapy is right for everyone — but getting the correct diagnosis changed everything for me.
If you are reading this and recognising yourself in these words, please know: you are not losing your mind. You are not 'just stressed'. There is a very good chance your body is going through a significant hormonal transition — and there is help available.